Inside The Office Bus

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, zai-alpha@hotmail.com, 09-05-2021]

Reading Time: 20 min

Our huge and sprawling Centre of science has got a fleet of buses to ferry us to the city/sub-burbs and back. It seems these are deliberately kept under a critical number, not to attract the Bus company law and norms.  We, the Trainee Scientific Officers (TSO), used to be taken by 2-3 buses from hostel to our training school inside. I recall funny trifles in this regard: late risers used to run and catch the bus with friends helping from inside to stop the bus. One late riser would often quickly go to the mess to collect some sandwiches or something and rush to the bus. She used to then munch them while even standing in the bus. There used to be a security check on the gate to check our I-cards and bags. We used to hold the card or clip it on the pocket of the shirt. One of us was growing beard who often clipped the I-card on his beard! Personnel’s were amused or irritated as per their temperament on this non-offensive act of the TSO.

Our Transport staff: drivers, pass checkers and others normally didn’t behave very well. The shuttle buses always plied from the gate to deep inside of the Centre and back. One of my seniors, an officer activist used to come to office by motorcycle. There came a day when personal two-wheelers and cars were debarred from entering the Centre due the arrest of a suspected youth for International Terror Link from a nearby area in the late 90s. Though, the suspect was later acquitted of the charges, he even got married to a lady doctor and settled down. But the ban on the private vehicles was never lifted in our Centre: we are told that the security is above all, beauty may be skin deep but the security is not etc.  Some took to walking and cycling. The officer activist pledged not to board the bus, he would instead walk all the way inside.

One tall, hefty and bossy fellow called Mehmood in the Transport  Cell  (TC) was perhaps a traffic controller in the Centre. Sometimes, he assumed an additional charge of parading/herding employees in the bus queues here and there to get/put them in the “right” shuttle bus. Once, I was the first in a queue and any bus could have taken me to my stop, when a bus came I entered the bus. Mehmood was offended, he came running and commanded me to get down, otherwise the bus would not move. I was sure that in a while the bus would be full and moving and it happened. “Mehmood ki sultanat (Kingdom) main ye ek badi baghawat (rebellion) thi” but he couldn’t do a damn to me.

Employees were supposed to buy bus passes to utilize the bus service form home and back. Every year, in August, a good number of passed out TSOs would be new passengers, however it took them one /two months  to get the pass. Since, Navi Mumbai was nearby, we often got our shelters on rent in Vashi, Nerul, Konan Bhavan (KB) ….. In mid 80s there used to be at least 6 busses from Vashi and 3 each from Nerul and KB.

Every year in Aug/Sept, the pass checkers used to be most active. In mid 80s, we heard that one pass-checker in KB was so nasty that he would stop the bus in some inconvenient place and check the bus passes of the employee-passengers. Those not having it on the day had to get down and were left to the mercy of the conductors of the public busses as the stops were not there around. Very rarely there could be a culprit (a just passed out TSO) among them.

One day during such a surprise and inconvenient check of bus passes, some smart ones inside the office bus came forward to question the credentials of the checker, he showed them his I-card wherein he was a low grade employee. But they insisted the checker to show the authority letter/ card that he was authorized to check bus passes! He apologised for not carrying it on the day! It was enough, all of them forced the checker out and down! The bus started and it was stopped next, to hail back those who were searching for the nearby public-bus-stop after being chucked out by that checker !!

Hearing that wonderful news, I was really moved and motivated to do some such thing in Vashi, one day. It used to be quite a scene in Vashi near the Fire Station where we boarded the office bus. This scene was even more enhanced when the checkers checked the passes and removed a good number of employee-passengers from the queues for not having their bus pass on the day. One such day, I was in the queue and just missed a bus but I was the first for the next. The bus came and I shot myself inside to sit on the nearest seat without bothering about the checker though he was shouting.  I then from the window said to him “I did not bring the pass today, instead you may check my I-card and cross check in TC that I have been issued a bus-pass, if not I would be penalized”. Checker was stunned and offended it was all unprecedented for him and for all our law-abiding folks. Infuriated, he shouted that the bus would not move until I got down. There was a panic in the que for some 4/5 minutes, with everyone requesting me to get down, I didn’t budge at all. As guessed by me, soon the checker with his wounded ego started taking the passengers in. The bus started as usual and brought us inside our Centre. Only two from the bus patted me on my back others did not know what to say/do! They looked on like the surprised common man! of R K Laxman.

Friends, those who act like a Satan assume that others are saints and this is how Satan(s) keep thriving on the decency of others,

Later, I went to the TC to get a bus pass. The next time, I was again in the  queue with incidentally the same checker! I showed him the pass he coolly said “Dekha, Pass  Naya Hai, Na !” I said “Yes!” and sat inside. Next, he too came and sat with me. I said to him “Sir, while washing my pant, my old bus pass was washed out inside the pocket and it got mutilated. So I could not carry it on the fateful Friday and this one is a duplicate issued from TC”. I could also show him even two small pieces of the old one, other pieces were surrendered to the TC. I then suggested him that he could take down the computer number from the I-card of the passengers if one failed to show the bus pass “Report to TC for the law to take over. Why do you punish instantly and also wrongly”. He quipped “Han, par ye Sab Kaun Karega?!”

Friends, the police too, can find out the truth by interrogating the culprit intelligently and patiently, but they are mostly impatient/brutal like the bus-pass-checker.

It is said that if you desire something very much the universe may conspire to get you that. It happened to me at least once, I was doing a crucial calculation and I got stuck, it was night, I decided to go to TIFR-Lib in the morning for a confirmation and for a further progress, through a literature survey.  It rained the whole night, the news was bad, the city came to a halt, it was 8th of Aug. one of the worst days in the monsoon of that year.

I lived in the colony, I was very disappointed and walking to my Centre to attend the office. On the gate, miraculously, to my surprise I spotted the 11 AM bus bound for South (TIFR). I scribbled about myself on a piece of paper and handed it over to the conductor to sit inside the bus. Soon the conductor came to me to see the formal temporary bus pass which was supposed to be issued from the office for one visit, in normal days. I told him it was urgent for me to visit TIFR, and I showed him my I-card. He didn’t even look at it and asked me to get down, I refused to get down, as usual he said that the bus would not move. One senior officer of my Division (call him Dr. X) who was inside the bus intervened by making a formal pass for me signing himself as he was authorised. The bus started moving. That day even an outsider could have been given lift in any bus.

Subsequently, people were getting down on the intermediate stops, then came the OYC stop (our Head office), the remaining ones got down there except me. Drivers/conductors liked to stop there to have lunch and fun with their peers. TIFR was the next stop but the conductor along with the driver suggested (threatened) me to get down there itself as they would go to TIFR late.  I refused and asked them to take the bus to TIFR, he and the driver did it though, reluctantly.

I thought of complaining about the conductor and driver but then I forgot about it. After about a month, I got a call from my powerful HOD. He was a highly suspicious man, he asked me how my work was going on. Then he asked me if went to TIFR often, I said “Yes”. He quickly came to the point and revealed “According to a written complaint, it seems you went to TIFR on 11th of Aug without a formal temporary bus pass, argued with the conductor and also abused him”. I replied “On 11th Aug. I was whole day in the Centre, attended one talk before 12 noon and visited one senior scientist between 2 to 3 PM”. I further added with emphasis that I had never abused anyone, anywhere. The HOD was most surprised and asked me If I was surely right and that he would investigate seriously, I said “OK”.

Friends, I was being cheeky/ tricky with my HOD, I then broke the ice myself and narrated to him all what happened inside that bus  on 8th Aug, instead. . I remarked “That day it was pouring so heavily that formalities could have been relaxed and this is why he in the complaint has mentioned the date as 11th instead of 8th. In fact, I should have complained about his rude behaviour and not he !” 

To cut short the conversation, on the contrary the HOD suggested me that I should write an ‘Apology Letter’! as the complaint had come against me. He also advised me to be careful next time with those people as they had a strong Union. But I firmly said “I will write a Letter detailing what has happened that day inside the office bus”.  He exhorted “You are not understanding the situation, OK you write and then let me see”. I wrote it up and then he asked me to delete only one line: “I refused to get down”.

Dr. X was known  as one  big bull of the Centre who often went to South Bombay in that bus to TIFR. After a few weeks, one day I heard that he was looking for me and in the afternoon, he even caught me over tea table. He lectured to me that I should not take PANGA with drivers and conductors as they had a strong Union and that I should take back my complaint! I told him “Sir, it is he who has filed the complaint against me, I haven’t complained, I have only explained as to what has actually happened that day inside the bus”. Soon the driver and the conductor also came to join us and both of them apologized to me! I suggested him to take back his complaint and I would withdraw my explanation. It seems the problem was solved!!

In my centre more and more people are becoming talented and they need to be accommodated as HODs, various Divisions are partitioned and fractioned to create new Divisions with only a minimal/ modest set up. In a Division, there is one HOD. With one PA, one clerk, one sweeper and one driver (if a vehicle is there); the Division-office looks sparse among so many scientists working around.

Some two years back, the PA of my (reduced) Division called me up to complaint about the clerk who took maximum number of leaves and if he came to office he hardly sat in there and she would do all his work too. I said “Come on, you are the PA to the HOD, what can I do?” She said “he doesn’t help”, then I told her to contact the two HODs in waiting (call them H₁ and H₂, they were from later batches than mine). She told me that those two also were not effective.

I then discussed with H₁, to know what the matter was. He laughed and told me that the HOD and he went to complaint against the clerk to Chief Admin, the Admin asked them what grades they had given him in the previous 2 years. They said “A1″. Then the Admin turned around and said “Sir, you think I am a magician who can fudge his grades to take the required action!”

Then I talked to H₂, he listened to me and suggested me not to do anything in the matter as it might boom rang! and lastly the clerk, PA, helper, sweeper and driver would laugh at me, altogether. Next he added “Long back inside the 11 AM office bus to TIFR, the conductor/ driver misbehaved with me. I thought of complaining against him but you know what!! on the contrary he filed a complaint against me and then I was asked to write an ‘Apology Letter’, instead”!!!

 

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