[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, zai-alpha@hotmail.com, 06-12-2021]

Reading Time: 10 Min

Once an Indian  friend (say X)  of mine from abroad asked me if I had read Paul J Nahin (PJN),  the best selling author of Science and Math.  I got excited and replied that PJN, in his book “Inside Interesting Integrals”  had discussed one of my my integrals. This friend of mine is supposed to be well read, so he had this book too. The next day, without any excitement or any friendly appreciation, X told me that PJN has also discussed other integrals in his book.

In fact, in addition to the other things in his book, PJN has discussed 7 not so easy integrals, mine is at number 7 among the old legendary Integrals !  Even this  surprising information I got from a student of mine in the US. I thank God that I have been sheer lucky!  Later, I bought this book where the author has spent some 5 pages over it, calling me : An Indian mathematical physicist.

Now, the question is how Mr. X, who is supposed to be well read has missed those pages. I often doubt the well read ones, they perhaps  over-look some things to finish reading a book. I have also read that the best sellers are hardly read, their books are only bought. I hope I ‘m wrong here.

My second question is why Mr. X was  not excited, at least after knowing and exploring it on my suggestion. What did he expect!? of PJN’s book. Should the whole book have been devoted to “Ahmed’s Integral” ! Then the title of the book would not be what it really is.

Is it a case of an over expectation by an (escapist) NRI,  from a native (indigenous) academician like me?

Another friend of mine (say Y) was a well established material scientist  in the US.  He after hearing about “Ahmed’s Integral”, wrote to me  that Ahmed of AI was actually an “Arab”! but he hurriedly pushed the information  that he (Y) invented a new very light and very strong metal which went by his name!

Though I congratulated him heartily and I was awed as though this friend of mine could  even see the atomic layers! yet I was annoyed that  he should have told us about it earlier and not like that.

Then, I rattled Y, saying “if one searched in Google for AI, on the first page itself, there were  some 6 listings , of which 5 were about Indian Ahmed and one about that “Arab””  Surprisingly, Y took a great interest in  the “Arab” leaving his own classmate of M. Sc. days! Later, he looked into it again and apologized.

When all this was going on in the email group of our M. Sc. friends, our scientist friend working in a reputed lab abroad  (mis)understood the conversation and said “ you guys have opened a mutual appreciation club or what?” She simply overlooked the achievement of both of us. Others were just silent as though nothing had happened!

About two years back, one day Y had an ordinary fall at home, he became unconscious and was rushed to a hospital in New York. He wast in a coma for about a month, not getting up again. Doctors could not diagnose! and most unfortunately he passed away, untimely!! May his soul rest in peace. I will not be surprised if his alloy (PANDALLOY) has already entered our household in some form or the other.

However, there were friends and people who congratulated me saying various nice things. My friend G. Ravikumar talked about it high and low, in BARC.  That time 27^th batch used to have an email group and  I was overwhelmed by their compliments. Several times I heard that AI made small ripples in some high level committees in BARC/DAE.

For me it was enough that they heard about it and from the then Head of Lib. Division, I was asked to write about it in the News Letter (NL) of BARC. I offered to write a one-page article, the Head insisted that write a longer one otherwise it would be published as a communication from Physics Group where there would be no author, but  I did  not agree. Despite, that I pushed my one-page article to him. Ironically, the Head did not  realise that half of my name was already there in the title itself. But things changed when Ravi became Head of Lib. Division and I appeared with my full name as the Author of that one-page article in our NL.

Well wishers remember this term AI (some say ZI) and a part of me lives in the reflected glory of this integral which looks simple but it requires some very special methods, It seems right from its inception in the year 2002, it has been discussed well at different forums. I came to know about its impact only in the year 2014. The Wolfram Mathematica is known to be cautious about IPR, however, they adopted AI even without my permission! I welcome this lovely offence of theirs

That we Indians have done nothing or we have done everything (and left others behind)  are two extreme views, but  the fact  lies  within these two limits (if not outside). Such extremism should only be left to politicians. See some interesting claims: Our maiden journey to MARS was successful, unlike other’s. This journey was cheaper (Rs./ Km.) than even travelling by an auto! Some even claimed that it was based on Vedic calculations.

In our WhatsApp group, some friends get carried away and become extremists, for some time. Thankfully, there are friends like Bhaskar Pandit who understand the undeniable importance of the west vis-a-vis our modest position in science and technology. Time and again they restrain us duly and ground us well. Friends, we cannot boast off much but at the same time we should not be provoked.

HUM HONGE KAMYAB EK DIN, MAN MEIN HAI VISWAS PURA HAI VISHWAS…….

HAR EK BAAT PE KEHTE HO TUM KE TU KYA HAI? YAHI KAHO KE YE ANDAZE GUFTUGU KYA HAI?……

RO LEIN GEIN HUM HAZAR BAR, KOI HAMEIN ROOLAY KYOUN?……….

[Thanks for your read. You may pass it on to others.]

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, zai-alpha@hotmail.com, 29-12-2020]

Reading Time: 6 min

Some names or the letters in them  create a  humor. In Hindi there is   a phrase :`Ma ke lal’ but once a temporary uncle of mine was B. B. K. Lal Shrivastava. One Prof. Kamaal in AMU went to buy eggs in a near by shop. He was told “Andda nahi hai”, he uttered “Kamaal hai, andda nahi  hai.” Naughty students around there went on repeating this line: Han Sir, Kamaal hai, andda nahi hai. Kaptan, Subedar, Barrister, Kotwal, Tehsildar and even Karyakarm were some names in BHU, they all were Singh(s). Let us not ignore the Mumbaiwalas: Daruwala, Dabbawala, Screwwala, Boxwala, Zariwala, Arceewala,…. 

Recently, I heard someone has his name as NIYAM: the rules of the name are changing these days. A new nickname: someone crashed the wall of a glass chamber to be called “Glass Walker”. This may remind us of Johny Walker and the Moon Walker.

Arvind Dixit corrected me that (Late) PKG was Gupta, and the (Late ) Raghu’ was R.U. Raghvendra. So when Mohan Krishna called out his full name, he said “yes, of course”.

The third Lakhsmi of the bacth is M. Lakshmi, It seems there were two more but their names were Anglicized. On the superannuation of P. R. Patil and  James Jacob, we got together in TSH on 14th floor on Feb,-22, 2020 where Bruce has come down from Hyderabad to be with us. But James has been added to 27-WA only now, welcome Jacob to the group.

Thankfully, Ravi Prakash is added now R S Datta remains to be added. Welcome Chandramouli and T. Srinivasan to the group. Now there is a trio of Chandra(s) and a duo of Srinivas(s) in our WA. The singer G. Srinivas Rao is yet to be added. Oh!  how did  I forget the duo of Arun(s)! they are two more SUNs of the batch. One of these Shrivastav can be seen in the hall (on wall) of fame in Vienna Austria. Welcome Commander Ramesh, you are happy painting for a social cause.

Friends, it is very good to have the stock of the batch before the new year comes in.

Suresh Babu claims that in Kerala nothing is added to the name of a woman after her marriage, no wonder they are the most literate state of the country!

In south of India they may have stopped having surnames like Iyers, Ayengars and Krishnans but  their names still carry several initials! As the surname appears to be a must internationally, the officials use their per-conceived notions to cook up names and dictate the person what his/her name should be!

With us, he used to be Ravi E. S  (Elangar Srinivasanverdan), he migrated to Austraila in 1994. Officials there, cut and pasted his name to tell him that he was Ravi Verdan !  In 2009, the officials for his Green card in USA  told him that he should be Ravi Elangar Verdan!! Next, for his OCI card, he had to submit affidavit that all these were his names!!! Every time he travels, he is suspected and searched diligently. Our best wishes to Ravi.

Our batch mate from Andhra likes to be known as G(urazada) Ravikumar, in Germany he was made R. Gurazada. On his request, they unwillingly corrected their fabrication. The official grumbled that Indians don’t know their names well!  This German could be far from knowing the diversity and plurality which India is made of. Our batch mate Bahskar Pandit is from UP, there he may be called B. Pandit for short. But when he travels southwards they write him as P. Bhaskar! 

A lot of headmasters and principals of schools are known to have influenced the names and the dates of birth of a lot of people. Their ages were reduced/ increased and they even got some improper names, at the time of admissions.

Long back, in Mumbai, once a boy named Vijay went to a school for his admission, the British principal asked him about his surname,  the boy did not know this word itself. The Principal then asked him what business was being done at his home. The boy could only say “we sell cloth,”  the principal got it : Oh!  so you all are Merchants! This is how the famous Cricketer got his name:  Vijay Merchant, it seems they were actually Thackersey(s). 

I always saw to it that both parts of  my name are expanded and I succeeded. Once in ATOMICA Hungary, they wrote my name on their notice board as “Zafar AHMED!” for my talk over there. I preferred ZA but I have been made AZ in service book and I-card, I didn’t mind. Thanks Biswas for underlining this to me, now. I am going to retire, I am worried whether I will get my pension! Because people say that for pension the name in Bank, Aadhar card, Pan card and Service book should be exactly the same! Thanks Srini for your warning. For my pension I will do whatever is required but I don’t know as to who will get it: ZA or AZ. 

I may see the recent photographs of batch mates but recalling/ imagining them from their TS looks is the real fun. That is why wise men have said: Be with friends or remember them often, you will be young (Doston ke sath raha karo ya unhe yaad kiya karo, ye kambakth umar ki chadar kheench lete hain!)

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, zai-alpha@hotmail.com, 18-12-2020]

(Reading time 10 mins)

(Maybe names written here are not known to you, I guess you can still come over)

Do you notice a gender bias at work? Women are known by their first names and there seems to be no rule for men. The reason behind this is usually not very good: After the marriage their surname will change! Thankfully, we now see names like Kareena Kapoor Khan and Farah Khan Kunder. This mostly happens when a lady marries a peer/ boyfriend. Next, even this trend should go: Why should anyone has to change his/her name after marriage? I think it is the kids who may carry double surnames. Or they should carry their mother’s first name (naturally) and father’s surname (to be politically correct!)

In Nilgiri, we had one impressive tall and dark lady journalist named Sucharita Mukerjiee Khan (RIP). I learned the new trend of double surnames first  from her name.

S. Kalavathi of Training School (TS) continues to be so. This could be a case of accidental degeneracy, as she married Sridhar. This couple has been running REWARD trust to arrange Education for the deprived ones. Hats off to them, we should feel self- persuaded to contribute financially to this trust which keeps shinining time and again.

In our Whats App group (27-WA), Dhanya Mangla has switched over to Dhanya Suresh. We the batch mates take the news of a get-together more seriously if it also comes from this couple. Usually, a husband retires first but Dhanya has volunteered her retirement to follow her passion for social work. In TS, there used to be a lady named Y.K. Lakshmi, now she is Lakshmi Hyderabad, a studious member of our WA. I take her comments and suggestions seriously.

In 27-WA, there was one B, who became BR, then Bruce and finally Brahaspati Rao. When we grow old we may not like to hear our petnames. Dear Bruce, please speak up in this regard, we must know. Dr. S. Rangarajan writes Dr. SR for short, confidently.

During the lockdown, for quite sometime one Roger Fan joined our WA, it turned out that he was our Chandrasekar working for BSNL Shillong, paying a tribute for some time to his favourite Roger Federer, the Tennis player. Hiding behind an assumed name is a vogue in various sites and it could really be fun for a short while in a group of one kind, like ours.

Our parents try to give us a nice maiden name, some people keep hiding this name, they may  even forget it. But when they go abroad they hear this name and they start liking it. Coming back home, they like to re-introduce themselves with their first name. It becomes too late and they only get little success.

We should be thankful to AMD, DBN and PDN for expanding their first name in WA. Thankfully, Jaynamesh has switched over to Jayanthi. Suddenly, one Nandkumar emerged who informed us that his son wrote a book “Meri Shayeri Mera Samaj” then for congratulating them I had to search that he was Maliakar from Chemistry.

Recently, we were grieving in our WA when the soul-mate of Singha Roy passed away, untimely. Responding to our condolence messages he wrote an emotional post, it was then his nice name was revealed. So there are now two Sandip(s) in our batch, the other one is Nayak from Chemistry.

Thankfully, we are already putting up well with the duos of Arvind(s), Balasubramaniam (s), Chandra(s), Lakshmi(s), Naik(s), Nayak(s), Rao(s), Suresh(s), Shashikant(s) and the trio of Sharma(s):  Praveen, Anil and  Avaneesh. Sometimes a confusion does arise.

Once X1 of the duo-X posted something in the group, not liking it , Y called up X1 for a warning, X1 pleaded innocence and the blame was shifted to X2. Thankfully, the matter ended as X2 and Y were not great friends.

There is one Vijay besides Vijayalakshmi in our group, I guess that he is our Vijay Tukaramji NIMJE from Physics. A. S. Joshi (Phys, ex-RRCAT Indore) is actually Annand-verdhan Shivaram Joshi. R.S. Chuabey (Phys, RRCAT) is Radhey Shyam Chaubey. V in our Gold-man’s name is Vimalchand. The P is Prabhakar who is the author of the book “Risk-based Engg.”

We have five Ravi(s) (meaning wise we may add Bahnu and Bhaskar also) and we deal with them well without any confusion. However, it was nice and apt when Ravi Aladi told himself to be another Ravikumar on the birthday of G. Ravikumar.

Kamaruddin has been added but where is Jalaludduin? The singer G. Srinivasrao is being searched but what about T. Srinivas? Some of the duo(s) mentioned above can become trio(s) , if we can find Chandramouli, Suresh N. (Chem.) and one more Lakshmi (speccy & short built) – any news?

Manisha left early to join ND-TV, it seems she is in Pune. She once joined our get together in TSH, Paramita may add her here. Trupti (Joshi) resides in Hiranandani Thane. Once she joined us in the wedding of Anita’s daughter, Preeti Pal may add her. One may find / add Adhikari, Sahoo, Pande, Kush, Kher, Kaushik, Kadam and Monojit!

Let us now recall those of us who are no more now: Raghuvendra Udupi, Abbhjit Chatterjee, Pradeep K. Garg, Captian Ponnar, Krishna Kumar, Subhasis Majumdar and Hema Sankaran. May their souls rest in peace and their families succeed well.

I would be sorry for any spelling or some other mistake in any name here, because these names are not coming from any list. I may be corrected. You know our list is pretty long, according to Tripathi, we were 183+.

Nicknames are apt but they need to be less offensive. The name of one girl was Chapal, it was distorted to Chappal! You can imagine the fun the guys had inside the classroom and around. One Komal Gandhi was called KG and then “Kilo” ! Genrerally,  one should look up while walking (unlike me), one girl  who looked up a little more was called “Akashwani” ! One boy who used to lean a bit was called Tan(theta) !  I heard  that I was called “Dr. Interesting” in HRDD because while teaching I used to find/call everything interesting! Some students also called me “what happens.” The new born(s) of a couple used to die prematurely, lastly they nicknamed their kid JIO ! Maybe Ambani(s) took it from them. One girl in TSH, who hailed from Deonar, often took the BEST bus from the hostel stop, she was called “371”! One of our teachers was growing a beard when I acknowledged it, he smiled and said: Yes, now changed  I want to become a “bearded genius”! We started calling him so (that)

Nowadays, Pratham, Prameya, Siddhant and Pramana are names ! I suggest three more: Phalan (function), Avkalan (differentiation) and Samakalan (Integration) as prospective names. A senior and famous Physicist Carl Bender visited us. Over dinner we asked him about his family. He had two sons. He said “ It turns out that we may have taught Differentiation to the first one and Integration to the other.” He looked anguished and I was perplexed. He then explained to me that the first one separated off and the other one lived with them.

These days SBI seems to have almost changed its name to an omnipresent acronym YONO, do you know its full: you only need one. After struggling to know it I am even more puzzled as to what they mean? I only know that earlier, their fancy idea of “Single Window” hardly worked.

One L.M. Pant went to CERN to work with Dr. Archana Sharma (my classmate in M.Sc. Phys. in BHU). She called him Lalit, he thought  he being junior to her, she called him so, also he liked it. He then realised that  there, he was generally called by this name only.

When Pant came back, our I-cards were getting renewed in BARC. I went to CC to collect mine. Reaching there I found that Pant was arguing as to why they did not expand his name to Lalit Mohan Pant despite him filling it like that in the  format of the form. Pant cited my example to them. To my surprise, seeing/ hearing me there, the clerk was excited and addressed two lady colleagues: Madam ! madam !! He is Zafar Ahmed. They looked at me and smiled. It turned out that those two ladies wanted to write Z. Ahmed/ A. Zafar in my I-card but the clerk insisted that I was Zafar Ahmed from TS till the date in the records. However, they confidently declined to expand even the L of L. M. Pant. Pant was grumbling to make a valid point: If you want to go strictly by the records, then why the hell you ask us to fill forms time and again! Disappointed Pant and I came back together.

Friends, I wrote it all for fun and friendship, after all it is your name, write it whatever way you like. Thankfully, there ain’t any National Policy of Names (NPN) in the country so far! May I suggest one: Expand Your First Name (EYFN) or even First Name First (FNF).

(Dr. Zafar Ahmed, zai-alpha@hotmail.com, 22-Sept- 2020 )

(Reading Time: 12 min)

My school where I did 10th was celebrating its silver jubilee in a big way and a lot of cultural programs were staged, we were enjoying and cheering the performers.  I remember, the then budding singer, Anup Jalota sang Kishore Kumar songs and some Bhajans. He was gifted  a 100 rupee note by a VIP in the audience. Later, one senior questioned me about some indecent comment “I made” during the dance show of girls. He embarrassed me and I was totally unaware of any such comment, I swore and pleaded “No, not me…’’  but he didn’t accept my innocence.  I was really wary of my reputation, as he was also the brother of one of my friends. Next, he discomforted me a couple of times more.  Worse, after several decades, I heard that the same senior became our neighbour ! in my hometown. I wondered as to how I would meet him! Sadly, he died early before I could face him again. May his soul rest in peace. 
 
In my collage days, once I had to board a crowded compartment of a train, males and females indiscriminately were pushing their way inside. I could get in, but not without getting a heavy whack on my head from behind! 
 
I did my B.Sc. from Kanpur staying at my Nani’s place. One day, on my way to college, I saw a Khadi-clad man chatting and shaking hands with everybody, on the road. My turn came, he shook hands with me and asked how Shakir was. I said “Shakir, who! no !!’’. Then he quizzed “Aren’t you Shakir’s brother!?”.  Later, I learnt that Shakir was a studious guy who was diligently trying to improve his rank in IAS.  By the way, the khadi-clad man is the present Governor of Kerala. 
 
In my BHU (Benaras) days, one smart and reputed researcher named Dr. Ajay would stop me at times in the corridor to chat and take me for a cup of tea, if I was free. Sometimes, he would take me to his lab, though I was not interested in his field.  But he always engaged me in a conversation. Almost two years later, when I was finishing my M.Sc. , Ajay Bhai  told me that I looked like one of his favourite friends and even some of my gestures and styles were similar to him, who was an IAS, somewhere.  Ajay Bhai would wish that the three of us meet somewhere, sometime.  Later, Ajay Bhai came to BARC once to attend a symposium, we met over the lunch. After some years, very sadly, I heard that Dr. Ajay ‘ breathed last in Tata Memorial Hospital’. Remarkably, Dr. Ajay’s left hand was abnormally small yet he was a successful experimentalist and a fine speaker of his field. May his soul rest in peace. 

After completing M.Sc., I spent some good time at AMU (Aligarh). Apart from a good departmental Library, on the second floor there was a Phys. Education Lib. set up by the ex-HOD and ex-Chief of UGC Prof. Rais Ahmed. It was a fantastic place to be in, but one hardly went there because most of them were researchers ! and students were busy with their routine !! I used to spend a lot of time there, it surely inconvenienced the lady staff managing it. She wanted to come late, go early and have 2/3 tea breaks. Later, when we became friends, she would lock me inside and go for a break.  One day she wanted to know about me, she was surprised to know that I was from UP! Then she opined that I appeared to be one from Rajasthan ! and that I resembled an ex-research scholar from there.  

 Once, in Delhi, I was waiting for a DTC bus at Munirka near IITD, a bearded man alighted from a bus and said “Assala-wa-le-kum”, and shook hand with me. I said “Wale-kum-assalam.”  He then said “Oh! sorry, sorry.”  

Right after my training school I was deputed to VECC, Calcutta. In the guest house, there one chap/cook took special care of me. Slowly, he started introducing me as the “topper” of my batch to others. I used to say “No! no!!”, but he never corrected his mistake.  One day, he told me that when the graduation ceremony of my batch was there in the CC auditorium, he was under training in CC canteen, he attended the function and he got a pamphlet where my name was on the top of the list. I told him that it was because of my initial in ZA. he replied “No, no, I even saw you getting the Bhabha medal on the stage, myself!” I decided not to confront him about his marvelous confusion any more as I was being served well in the modest guest house there. 

In Vashi, while strolling around, one day, in twilight, somebody called me from behind and touched me to say “Please, tell Joy that…” I turned back in dis-acknowledgement. He then asked me if I was not Joy’s brother!  

Once, a senior well-wisher of mine contacted one of my batch-mates and said “ZA was moving around with a girl! at Marine Drive.” My friend Iltaf Khan took him lightly, saying “A young boy moving with a girl is normal !”  By the way, this senior himself used to move around with his girlfriend for over two years. Finally, they broke up. Maybe, my well-wisher wanted to fore warn me! In any case, this is the most interesting thing that my duplicate did! 

In my central library, I used to sit between two racks and browsed through research journals to fish out various points quickly.  This was my way of Googling in those days. One day a tall and lean helper came and complimented me for having played a role very well in one drama. I said “No, no, I never played any role in any drama.” He said “Oh ! sir you should not feel shy having played a role in a drama, you did it very well.” He refused to believe me, saying “It is possible to mistake one for someone else, but it was surely you.” He started wishing me since then. I could never ask him as to what role I played! though he is still around. All I knew was that the famous IPTA staged some plays in the colony those days. I sensed that there must be a duplicate of mine who did that role. 

There used to be a very senior scientist Dr. G: a fine experimentalist having interest in the theory as well. He was well informed even outside science. I would often chat with him though he believed in religious rituals and this was OK with me. Once, he talked about on line trading, I said “Even my wife would like to learn it.” He soon invited both of us home. One evening, we went there. We were amazed at their hospitality: one may not be served so many items of sweet and snack. We also enjoyed the interesting conversation with the couple. Next time, Dr. G said “You all are basically a Hindu, why don’t you think of gharwapsi, I can perform the ceremony for two of you.” I said “Sir, religion can at most be a private and personal affair of one and that should not matter in public life at all.” I further quipped as to what difference the gharwapsi would make. He replied that we would feel happy and peaceful. I assured him that we felt so even otherwise. I further added ” No religion is the best religion of the world, yours is for you and mine is for me.” Dr. G was witless and giggling, suddenly he looked so very small ! Recently, I read some visionary saying: if one’s education does not make one see above his/her religion, region and community; such an education is a waste and he/she is a liability to the society.

In my Centre, one day I was heading towards the library, from a distance, I saw Dr. Chakra’ in the queue for a bus to leave for the day. On reaching the library that was behind the bus stop, I was shocked to see him sitting studiously there, engrossed in books. When I told him about one like him in that queue, he quipped “So, I need to be careful ! as my duplicate is around”. I was so puzzled that I did not really hear his intelligent line very well. I was really upset over this observation of mine, I told it to some other people. One of them actually resolved the matter by informing me that Dr. Chakra’s brother was a lecturer somewhere in the city and he was also pursuing his Ph. D. in our Centre, part time. Brothers or sisters often do look alike to others but among them they don’t think so. That is why Dr. Chakra may not have even hinted me about this possibility of his brother being there in the queue. 

My wife and daughter were in Mussoorie, I was supposed to bring them back. I took Rajdhani to Delhi, then I planned to go to Dehradun by bus. I got off the train, some four thugs came around and asked me if I came from BANGLADESH! and they were after me to get me an over-expensive taxi-drive to Mussoorie. They even tried to fool me saying that the state bus service was on strike.  To get rid of them, I outsmarted them by saying: then I will go walking…! They thought that I was mad and disappeared. Oh ! many times in Conferences, meetings and parties, I have been passed off very well as a Bengali and those strangers even chatted with me in Bangla. Once a Bengali friend of mine made out that one family was even looking at me as a prospective groom!  Earlier, I relished these confusions but now I get nightmares that CAA has come into effect and I have been detained in a Centre to be deported to Dhaka. Hence, I got my birth certificate made now ! 

One year while giving lectures on Olympiad math in various centers in Mumbai, I noticed one student attending it in at least three centers; it was uncommon. One day while going in a taxi after the lecture I spotted him on road and gave him lift. He told me that his bus stop was a few minutes away. I confirmed if he attended my lectures in 2-3 places, confirming this he told me how he did that. I was his favourite in a new way! He also had some relatives working in BARC. After a while, he asked me “Sir, what size Ganpati you keep at home on Ganesh-Chaturthi: small, medium or big”. I marveled at his innocence, thankfully, his stop came soon and we parted. 

Much later after my marriage when I started putting on weight and was even alerted about the same by my wife. She also told me that I resembled a security personnel. When she actually showed me the one, I didn’t like him: he looked bad ! That day I realized that one shouldn’t be shown one’s duplicate, as one normally thinks that he/she looks better than what one actually is. 

Recently, in the lavish wedding of the son of our batch-mate Joshi, in Hyderabad, on the day of Sangeet my wife was informed about the presence of someone interesting- her duplicate who was group-dancing on the stage from the girl’s side. Though my wife approved of her! I could only get a glimpse of her as she was dancing and looking on the other side. The next day, we thought of bringing them together to click a snap. But it seemed that lady attended only the Sangeet part of the wedding and left. Thankfully, the risk of my mistaking her for my wife didn’t arise. 

Friends, it is said that there are seven lookalikes of everyone in the world but I have already been informed about 8 ! doppelgangers of mine. I may be on my way to modify the rule.

(I thank my friend A.N. Joseph for editing. Thanks for your read, you may please pass it on to others.)

(I dedicate this story to my BHU-buddy Bhupesh Kumar Gangrade who will be superannuating this month. I wish him and his family the very best for all times to come. Bhupesh has featured in my other stories in this Blog.)

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, zai-alpha@hotmail.com,, May-28, 2020]

[3 Parts, Reading Time: 10 min]

(1)

Right after the T raining School (TS) interview, I was supposed to fill many forms before collecting my TA. One of the labs of TS was utilized for this purpose where several young boys and girls were serving as recruitment staff. I entered there with the pink slip to show.

I was given several sheets to fill and sign. Suddenly, most of them started calling out for Meher’ : A short, spectacled and chirpy girl. I could not ignore that there was a Muslim girl amongst them but I used to be a shy guy, so no interaction.

But my BHU buddy Bhupesh from the previous batch who was hosting and accompanying me, noted this and  talked to the girl. Those days, as Bhupesh was a paying guest in a flat in the colony and her family also lived around there, these two often met and became friends.

After receiving my selection telegram from BARC, I fell ill and I was quarantined in the dispensary of IIT-D for over a week. During this time one AMU-friend Pawan who was going home to Aligarh came to see me. I requested him to send a telegram to BARC with the message “joining shortly.”

I came late to join TS by about two weeks. Bhupesh was delighted to see that I was selected and called to join. According to his info’ I was not selected! Oh! that day was a difficult one, I was asked to meet a senior physicist named Dr. R. C. Chidambaram, he listened to me and conditioned that I would be producing the medical certificate from IIT-D (dispensary) soon.

Even more difficult time I had in TS, that day, where the officials and the Head were not impressed by my story as to why I came late. Someone even said that no telegram was received by them from me! I felt really harassed.

It was then that Meher produced a telegram from Aligarh! with the message “joining shortly”, neither Delhi nor my name was mentioned by Pawan in it !. But it surely lent credence to my story and I was admitted to TS, I thanked her very much. My dramatic admission to TS, boosted the friendship of Bhupesh and Meher, further. After two weeks or so, I had to leave for IIT-D to get the crucial medical certificate. I remember, that I had to miss the first picnic of our batch.

I soon became busy with the training, I often saw them walking around in the colony but I used to avoid them, also because I was still a shy-guy. Next, Bhupesh would deliver some chits and bits scribbled by her, branding me uncivilized etc.

After my TS, I shifted to Konkan Bhavan, Bhupesh bought a house in Vashi, Meher got a job in a bank in the Fort area. Three of us and her friends went out for picnics some 4 times.

(2)

It was 1985, we were busy working for our official assignments half a dozen batch mates used to be around to chat and discuss.

There was a computer lab and Bhupesh  also sat in the same corridor after our administrative office. Next to it was Biology division. My meetings with him were reducing because of the company of new colleagues. Those days used to be very lively, we used to visit our big air conditioned canteen covered with glasses, some 3-4 times  a day. There the decibel levels used to be high and we surely added to it.

These days, ladies are trying to outnumber gents in offices, and labs but in those days only few ladies were around in our corridor: two of them were our colleagues, two or three used to visit computer room, there was one young researcher ferrying liquid nitrogen cylinders and two cheerful ones had just joined the Bio’ division. One smart  Parsi lady in skirt used to talk very nicely.

One day, in my pigeonhole of office I found an unstamped envelope, inside that someone was appreciating some small things which I did! but there was no signature! This letter was suspiciously interesting. The next hand-put letter was also flattering but this time it revealed that it was from some unknown girl! Some more short and romantic letters followed

My friend Mythili warned me that someone was playing a prank and she would watch out. My friend Bhupesh also told me that it could be a prank and advised me not to bother about it. Some more letters followed. Chances that someone would come from away to put it, were less. Was he/she nearby? Whodunnit!?

The issue was now open to other friends. They smiled, giggled, enjoyed and became serious too. Friends promised me to sort it out, but I suspected each one of them.

Those short letters followed for about a month with reduced frequency.  In the last one, the “girl” revealed her name as “Ferzana”. Some friends opined that it was not a prank because in a prank the guy would be called to some peculiar place to be laughed at by the prankster(s).

I was then made to realize that mostly: it is friends  who script a love story and the lovers just act it out. Friends even found that one of the young biologists in the corridor was actually a Muslim.

(3)

One day, after hi and hello Bhupesh suggested that while going to/coming back from TIFR, I could meet Meher in her bank at Fort. This my seismologist friend had zero-dialling facility then itself. On a Saturday, I went to TIFR-Library, had lunch in the western canteen and came to her bank. There, I was received warmly with several boys and girls knowing me well by my name! I was introduced to a smart young man, a colleague of theirs named Irfan who was the fiancé of Meher.

It being a half-day, Meher proposed that two of us would take 90 Ltd. to travel to A’Nagar, then I was supposed to take a bus to Vashi. Our Journey started, she was good at reading and hence she was talkative. I divulged the Farzana episode to her she found it very interesting. Soon, we were nearing A’Nagar. She gave me parting suggestions that I should meet Bhupesh more often as he felt left out! I agreed. She added that while walking I should look up and around. I replied: I don’t want to see: people un-necessarily / un-necessary people.

A’nagar depot came, we got down and headed towards Vashi stop to wait for my bus. She stayed there with me for a while. She said “I want to tell you something, but promise me that you will surely excuse me” I said “OK, tell me”. She said that Bhupesh and she were behind the Farz’ episode!  she ran away and hailed good bye from a distance. Surprised, yet soon, I realized that Farz’ could not have had any name other than FARZANA, because in Urdu it may be taken to mean: Imaginary Being! Later, it was pointed out to me that ‘ZAFAR” can be made from this name!

It seems Bhupesh had a bet with Meher that such letters wouldn’t deter me, but I think that he might have lost the bet.

Later, Meher got married to Irfan, theirs was the first wedding that I attended in Bombay. In their reception, I went to the stage to present my gift and to give them the compliments that they were looking great! They teased me with Farz’ episode. Next, I applauded the food that was served. She said “yes, we could see you eating without looking up and around!”

Friends, it was about time when boys and girls started getting to know each other without becoming Romeo or Juliet.

Thanks for your read.

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, 14 A Malayagiri Anushaktinagar Mumbai 400094, zai-alpha@hotmail.com, April, 28, 2020]

Reading Time: 5 min

We saw a show at NCPA on 12^th Oct. 2019.We were four couples, with Rekha and Pankaj as motivators for us. My wife and I have seen several shows/ concerts/ dramas and wouldn’t mind if one was not so good. But other two couples were the first timers!

In the beginning, we were told by the Happy-Lucky organizer that it was singer’s first ticketed-show! ?  Hence or otherwise, it was full house. The compere had hardly anything to do, though his job was to tell us some interesting things about the popular singer and something more.

The musical show started late by half an hour! There was very loud instrumental music, less of singing.  Intense lights were focused at us! intermittently for our discomfort. Perhaps, the only interesting feat was to see random, rhythmic body gestures of the singer getting converted into melodious sound and music by his musicians, whom he called the finest but failed to introduce to us!  He, very loudly thanked the actor Bhumika Chawla for co-acting and supporting him in his album.  She was sitting among the first-benchers in the hall, the singer failed to invite her up on the stage! The first part lasted for an hour and a break was announced.

Thankfully, after the break Pankaj and Rekha succeeded in controlling the controller of the light and sound to stop the torture of us audience.  In the second half, the singer revealed some interesting things about his life. He was bred in London and he started his singing there only.  His father a Pakistani diplomat was a cancer patient who was told a life of just six months by the doctors, but he fought cancer for 20 years!   We know that the singer had a phenomenal weight of some 200+ Kgs, his ailing father was damn scared lest his son died before him. When he confided his enormous fear into the son, Adnan decided and pledged to lose his weight.

Here came the   favourite topic of every one to hear it from the horse’s mouth.  To our surprise, he didn’t visit doctors, dieticians, and did not use other devices and systems; one normally hears of.

He just left eating food. He said he was only on `C food’ (just see and don’t eat) for years. Adnan would have been most certainly a delight for the advertisers who do` before and after’ ads, but he gave them a slip!

Teenagers, who out-numbered the other audience were enjoying, whistling and cheering all the while. When people demanded various songs, he said that he would sing all but he alone would decide their sequence. We then enjoyed the most familiar lyrics and melodies of Adnan.

Furthering the show, Mr. Sami profoundly thanked God for giving him everything, we all felt flattered, when he added `even becoming a Hindustani !’ Curiously, the present Govt. used him as their poster boy, but his C’-ship was actually due to the rules of the previous Govts. Now, one wonders as to what is there in store for the likes of Adnan.

Coming back to us, we all four couple were seated separately as per our tickets, we also missed meeting in the interval. But at the end, when we met, we realized the disappointment of the new comers! To be on the same page as them, we too had to make some comments against the show. Nevertheless, we four secretly passed it well maybe also because it was his first ticketed show.

Later, we learnt that in 2016, Adnan Sami earned the title of the fastest piano player in the world, he did give us a good display of this. This year he became Padma Shri.

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, Anushaktinagar Mumbai 400094, India (zai-alpha@hotmail.com) April-04,2020]

4 Parts, Total Reading Time: 20 min.

(I)

In September of 2002, I was invited to deliver some lectures in a teachers’ training at a university. With several hasty and hectic experiences earlier in the past, I decided to reach the station early to catch my train. But it was a bit too early as I was the first one to reach the platform, after some time the train came, I searched for the AC 2T compartment. But my name did not feature in the list of passengers pasted on the door. Attendants came to clean and furnish the compartment, I asked them too. Other passengers started coming in. The one on my neighbouring berth also came and sat, I asked him my doubt, he could only say “ let the TC come.” I was very worried, as some 20 minutes or so were left for the train to depart. I went to check the list on the platform which was just pasted. Not seeing my name there also, I had to examine my ticket and I was shocked to see that I was there on the platform one month before, as the month of the booked travel was October!

 I did not have enough cash to buy another AC 2T ticket. I also wondered whether an ordinary window would cancel my reserved ticket of October and gave me one for that day of September, it was 2145 hrs or so then. I looked desperately at the Inquiry counter of VT which was unmanned. I tried getting cash from the ATM using my favourite credit card but in vain. Those days windows wouldn’t accept credit card payments. So I decided to try and get a general class ticket. I got into the long que for a ticket, there were some 20 people ahead of me and only 15 minutes left for the train to whistle away.

Worse, the clerk at the window was laughing, shouting and making some gestures at the que. I was getting more nervous, with my blood boiling I thought of rattling him up after getting the ticket, If at all I got it. Thankfully, my turn came and I got the ticket, then I asked that sadist as to why the hell he was so excited. He said “Sir, look at that window, just no one is there to buy tickets. and they are overcrowding here, I have been trying to tell all of you this only.” I hurriedly replied how would we know and understand such a great message .  (In fact, we try to see a crowd to join it and that has become our habit. If there is no crowd, we are not sure and we lose faith.). I did tell the que about what he was trying to convey.

After getting the ticket. I ran and I could board the same train, just then it whistled away. This time, I entered the nearest one — a reserved sleeper class. After negotiating with the TC, I even got a berth: Corruption buys convenience, I couldn’t have done anything else.

(II)

 It was around 4 AM, my station had come and there I was supposed to locate a white ambassador with a certain number, which I did well. The head of department (HOD) himself came to receive me. On the way to the university, HOD kept smiling and listening to my episode. But to me the HOD appeared to be too experienced  as he found  my story to be  normal! Also, he did not react/ respond to other things I told him. I thought him to be strange. Reaching the guest house and before leaving me, he politely informed me that my lectures were scheduled at 10:00 AM and  that a car would come to fetch me there. 

I reached the department and was brought to HOD’s plush office with a feudal setup. Those days, tickets were cancelled only at windows on VT, so I thought of taking HOD’s help for the cancellation of my October-ticket and for the confirmation of my return journey ticket. But the HOD was totally unaware of my October-ticket,  and he wanted to know the matter! I again narrated my episode to him, this time he was laughing like mad. He found my story to be hilarious. To my surprise, I noticed that the HOD had a hearing aid and in those wee hours of morning, he was not wearing it!!

(III)

I was then introduced to my audience waiting for me. For lecturing, instead of bombarding them with new topics, I deliberately chose some old topics which were familiar to them in their post-graduation. Then the onus of telling them something new, rare and exciting fell upon me and I did succeed in holding my audience well. Three-hours of my lectures were spaced by two 15 minutes breaks and a good number of questions were asked. I managed answering all excepting two. I frankly, threw those two questions open for anyone to answer: then, later or never. I gave my audience my email-id to interact.

At the end of lectures, four young men came to tell me that they had already studied those things and that I should have lectured them on some new topics. I promptly asked them if everything went up well and right, as they knew those things already. They perhaps got a hint of my sarcasm they hurried saying “yes, yes” and further I asked them if they had answers to the two nuts, they were further let down. But I wondered as to what kind of teachers they were who came to know something which they had not studied, they would rather go for research instead of teaching. With old things already not clear! they perhaps wanted to explore new things instead!! I could gauge that they were faking!

After lunch, there was a valedictory session. Seven of my audience and three observers spoke about delightful and interesting points about my lectures. I requested the introduction of those four men, they turned out to be 4 of the 10 lab-instructors of their colleges who were graduates and special invitees in that programme, whereas others were regular teachers, who were postgraduate or above.

Next, I was requested to say a few words.  I said “teachers must keep reading, listening, teaching and discussing the same things over and over again to gain knowledge, understanding, wisdom and intuition; apart from just the information which they were imparted when they were students. A good   piece of research is not unlikely after a class-room discussion. Research is not essentially getting registered under someone, in some institution and working out a Ph. D.  Even a graduate can keep on working on one’s own, one may be awarded a D. Sc. Or D. Litt. by a university.” They clapped and I was happy to notice that the HOD was wearing his hearing-aid then.

That day, there was a national Bandh following the unfortunate intrusion of terrorists in the Swaminarayan temple but I could get a good auto-rickshaw driver who took me around the historical city for site-seeing. Among several spots I visited, two things stood apart: the red ! Taj-Mahal and the perpetually flowing water-line that apparently defied hydraulics just by the grace of some Baba !!

He then dropped me at the station. May be, because of the Bandh my return journey ticket got confirmed. (Bandhs are always not inconvenient). To my surprise, I found those four young men were smiling and waiting for me there to bid me good bye. It seemed they liked what I said in the valedictory function.

I surely had a memorable tour. The next day, I got an email of thanks from the HOD. He also asked me if those four young men came to see me off! It seems HOD took them to task and sent them to the station as a punishment!

Friends, after working for about 20 years, yours truly himself was awarded D.Sc. from Mumbai University in 2009 by submitting his published papers in 2007.

(IV)

In 2014, one intern came to me for two months or so I asked him to work on one of the questions asked there in the teachers’  training. He worked well and while leaving the young man gave me a good clue. We worked further online and submitted it to an arXiv and a Journal. The Journal declined it but it has been doing very well in the arxiv.

Just a B.Sc. and a school-teacher from Nashik named KAPREKAR  (1905-1986) proposed several interesting results with numbers. He invented a special number (6174) and its repercussions. This number is called KAPREKAR number. Indeed, Kaprekar did not require any Ph. D/D. Sc. Maybe it was also because his name was already D. R. Kaprekar.

One lady physicist from my batch in my Centre was a Ramanujan-medalist in her graduation and she was among top-four in my batch. She joined nuclear research and got married to a CA. In the third semester of her pregnancy she even ventured to fly to Calcutta to participate in a competitive colloquium, there she bagged an award. Eventually, she had to resign from science as her husband wanted to go to an oil-rich country for greener pastures. She was bringing up two children later they all migrated to Canada. With children grown up, she wanted to re-kindle the old flame (nuclear research) by taking admission for a Ph. D. there.

I was in the middle of my career when she asked me to write a Letter of reference! Though I felt honoured, yet I was surprised and afraid as to whether my report would work well. Several senior nuclear physicists would have liked to write a good report for her whereas I was a mathematical physicist and that too a peer! Finally, I wrote the Letter/report, she got admission and finished her Ph. D. It was sometime then, she was invited to BARC to deliver a lecture. In USA, she worked for four years in a strategic nuclear organization. Later, doctors advised her to keep away from nuclear-radiation. She took to teaching. Presently, she is a Professor in a nursing college where she teaches Math. She paints and sings (mostly classical Carnatic) very well. Recently, she has written articles on COVID-19 in Linkedin using Math, nuclear physics and data.

Dilraj Kaur, a popular playback singer of B’wood disappeared from the arena, I wondered why?! Once she was invited to BARC as a judge for a completion, in reply to my question she said: she went back to Lucknow for a Ph. D. ! in music. I guess, she may have been too simple and not a B’wood-savvy.

Later, I really felt the craze for doing a Ph. D. gradually, when one young member of my division came to inform me that one M.Sc. in Math from Calcutta had passed GATE, NET and SET very well and she desired to do a Ph. D. under me. Earlier, I had declined a similar case in Phys. from Calcutta. If one is already professionally into science, it is fun to work with him/her. In fact, I was always afraid to bring a new one into the risky world of science. So, I told him that it would not be possible.

After some time, he came back to surprise me by saying “ Sir, she is my fiancé! we did  M.Sc. together from IIT-Kh  but I was in Physics.” I again responded with “NO” and suggested him that she could instead become a teacher. Next time he came with sweets to tell me that they got married. I thought that the idea of her Ph. D. would melt down soon.

After sometime, the young man came yet again with the same request. This time I told him that BARC did not recognize Mathematics, Pharmaceutics and Bio-Technology as a subject yet, though these things were being practiced considerably in Trombay and that her admission was not possible.

 I suggested that she could work from home with me without a formal registration. They agreed. The husband also made arrangements so that she could attend my lectures in Training School. She started working, two papers happened to be published with her, subsequently.

They took my permission and these two papers, to try Mumbai University in both Maths and Physics departments. Despite sympathies of some people, funny things happened and she failed to register there too.

They tried some universities in WB, only JU obliged her after interviews and formalities.  She had to undergo their Pre-Ph.D. course work. Later, she worked hard and we could publish some 6 papers with me. Last year, I was invited to sit in her defense viva. There, I met two senior/retired Quantum-Mechanists who have been keeping her Project-Ph.D. afloat. After submitting her thesis she took up teaching in a college. Last year, in December, she has been awarded Ph. D., with a less than one year old son in her lap.

While correcting drafts of her thesis I restrained her and diluted the portions in the acknowledgements where she was kind of claiming that she was born to do Ph. D!

Anyway, now even I can boast of producing at least one Ph. D. The other bright young man could have been my second one in this regard, had the system been kind to him. Actually, his case requires a film to be made. If I can write one, then I will approach Raju Hirani of MUNNA BHAI MBBS fame, to make it!

Thanks for your read, you may forward it.. Lock-dowm and stay safe for now.

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, Anushaktinagar, Mumbai, zai-alpha@hotmail.com, April-16, 2019]

Reading Time: 8 min

It was 1983, I was doing a prized course in Delhi. Around this time my BHU buddy Bhu-pesh often persuaded me to appear in an interview at his Centre for a job. I gave in to his encouragement and took a train to Mumbai, then Bombay, he secured a hostel room for me besides his and my interview was scheduled for the following day. I was nervous, I tossed and turned all night – a never before experience for me. I was restless and fearful of the interview. Around 4.00 am I switched on the light and was amazed and terrified to see armies of bugs on the floor and around my mattress. I did not wait for daybreak, I woke Bhupesh up and told him to get my interview postponed by another 3 to 4 days. Bhupesh agreed and I slept fitfully. The following day Bhupesh and his friend AKM (the present director of the Centre) went around and got it pushed by 3 days.

I had 3 days to while away before the interview, I studied hard for the interview and asked around for what kinds of questions would be asked at the interview. Everyone assured me that the questions would be simple. I was not comforted as several other friends of mine had been interviewed and only Bhupesh had the good fortune to be selected. The rest who did not get selected are doing just as well in public and corporate sectors or in science and technology.

I used to go to the BEST canteen for lunch, I was taken around the wonderful colony, I was shown the shooting spot of a film-song (Humka Isak Hua Hai Yaro) nearby. One evening, I was treated in the nearest restaurant named Vijay Punjab which has been demolished recently.

For the interview, I was told a thumb rule that if the chairman signed on the back of pink TA/DA slip, that would mean I was selected. I didn’t just want to pass the interview but I wanted to crack it up! In the interview, I saw the chairman signing on the back of the pink slip, but I was not happy with my interview, so I requested them for a second round. They asked me to sit and wait outside. Then I was given a chance, oh! I spoiled it in the second round. (There is a dangerous me who does suicidal things.) Even then, I had an inkling that I would be selected and Bhuesh promised to let me know by a telegram soon.

Next day, I was at the BCT station for my train back to New Delhi. An elderly man, probably fiftyish, with no bags and looking downcast was dropped off and instructed “not to do this again!?” The conversation sparked my curiosity. I became curious. We struck up a conversation, he told me that he worked for the railways in Bareilly U. P. He came to Bombay for shopping or something but his bag and belongings were stolen in the train. In short, he passed 3-4 days miserably and some hawkers from U.P. gave him some food. I asked him if he had logged a police complaint, he said “no because he came here faking a medical leave and it would have complicated matters!!” His situation was suspicious but I did not probe much. The Govt. of India owed me a six-month scholarship in AMU (Aligarh) and it still does. I myself was struggling also as my new stipend hadn’t started. I gave him 40 rupees out of Rs. 80 which I had.

Even his name though interesting was too long to be one from U.P. I remember it very well, his name was B. B. K. Lal Srivastav. Usually, one hears of MAA KE LAL (mother’s son(s) ), but this one was awkward. At his behest I shared my address of Delhi-hostel and the prospective  one in Bombay. He also jotted his address on my copy of `Illustrated Weekly.’ With gratitude and blessings he promised to pay me back by an Money Order. when he got back. I boarded my train and had a normal journey back to my hostel.
 
After some 44-46 hours of this incident, in the morning around 7, I was washing my clothes in the bathroom. Then, I heard my name being taken in the corridor. I was sure that it was a postman with the much awaited Telegram. I came out to the corridor most quickly and curiously. To my surprise, I found Mr. BBKLS there!!! He was delighted to find that I could recognize his voice and went out to welcome him so quickly!
 
He began narrating the sequence of events after I left him at BCT, he bought a rail-ticket up to some station and boarded the next train to Delhi. Long after that, on the way there was a massive ticket checking drive, one squad entered his compartment. Many were found ticket-less and they were being herded to the railway magistrate for the hearing for penalty and punishment. Mr. BB’ was one of them. When his turn came, he narrated his unfortunate story where I (ZA) also featured. The judge asked him for a proof that a student named ZA helped him. Seeing two of my addresses of IIT-D and BARC on a piece of a paper with him the judge was somehow impressed and left him free (of course without bothering as to how BB’ would get back to Bareilly!) Naturally, Mr. BB’ had to again travel ticket-less from there to Delhi. He reached Delhi early in the morning. Walking all the way, he reached my hostel and he was with me then!
 
I was then taking him to the mess for the breakfast. He looked  ashamed, he requested me to tell others that he was my uncle. He wanted some more money so as to reach his home (Bareilly) respectably though he had relatives in Delhi. I did not have money. So, I went upstairs to my AMU-friend Pawan, who too didn’t have it. The next was another AMU-friend Sheshu, who had lent me 50 bucks. Then I saw the uncle BB’ off from the hostel gate.

After a few days, I got a postcard instead of a telegram from Bhupesh telling me that I did not get selected! and in that he also cursed the interview committee. Maybe, my temporary uncle had prayed for me and the telegram did come from the Centre asking me to join on 9th of Sept. But then I was   quarantined in the dispensary for a week or so due to Malaria.

I eventually joined BARC on 15th  of Sept after a dramatic process. The M.O. for Rs. 90/- never came to me. By the way, even I didn’t pay Rs. 50/- to Sheshu until after one year or so when I got his reminder by a post-card. May God forgive us for the old unsettled dues. (Thanks, please share it)

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed D.Sc. , Anushaktinagar Mumbai-94, India, zai-alpha@hotmail.com, March-07, 2019]

Reading-Time: 5 min.

Students of my wife’s class started losing items like rubbers, pencils, crayons, and colours daily. My wife would go to the Lost and Found section of the school for no trace! Complaints were growing and biggies of the class volunteered even to carry out searches of bags, had she allowed them. Normally, biggies of a class are used as unpaid marshals by teachers, but my wife refused them that chance to show off. She herself secretly searched and sensed some suspected bags on some days when children were away for their PE(PT). Though really worried, she was appearing to ignore their complaints, one way or the other.

In my wife’s school even the EWS-quota! candidates were from well-off families, so, why would anyone steal!? My wife, the teacher had to recall that one student named Y used to show her some sketches, drawings, paintings and craft-items done by her at home. She distinctly remembered that Y did not show any such thing that year!! On asking Y, she came to know that her parents had asked her to give up those activities, and that they had confiscated her art and craft material. She also recalled that: Y’s doctor parents never behaved cool in parent-teacher meetings, they did not like to hear a compliment on their daughter’s art-work; they were always in a hurry and anxious too, and that she had to be very firm with them.

One night, after dinner, I found my wife in a very serious mood. She called up Y’s mom to say “this is regarding Y, check her bag and belongings secretly when Y has slept or she is not around and let me know.” Promising to get back to her, the mom responded very well. Later, the mom was shocked to find a multitude of items such as erasers, pencils, crayons and colours in Y’s possession. She also discovered some drawings and paintings under the mattress in Y’s room.

The mom reported all that to my wife. She directed the mom to bring those items only after school hours. This transaction was completed but not without a warning and an exhortation to the parents that they must allow Y to do art and craft also at home.

The next day, my wife the teacher went to the class, displayed those recovered items to return to students who had lost them. Students were most curious and some even expressed their shock that they have been contacting the Lost and Found themselves, but in vain!!! Slowly, children’s queries started popping up, before she cleverly and quickly changed the topic saying “Today let us read a very interesting…..’’, she gave a glance at Y to find a curious smile on Y’s face.

After a week or so, the peon came to inform my wife that one old lady was waiting for her in the lounge. My wife came down, the old lady held her hands warmly and thanked her with blessings. She was Y’s granny and my wife felt rewarded.

Another teacher who generally wished that teaching would better be a half a day job, saw the old lady in the campus interacting with my wife. Next day, she warned my wife that teachers needed to be more careful as even grannies had started coming to complain! She smiled at her timid thought and moved away from there.

Friends, my wife’s act was truly a surgical strike which has never been claimed and talked about for any personal benefit or propaganda. My wife at present is a house-wife, Y is a budding and working architect, and the doctor-couple are our family friends. THANKS

[I would like to thank my friend Mr. Amal Nathan Joseph for editing this piece]

Reading Time: 7 min.

[Dr. Zafar Ahmed, Anushaktinagar, Mumbai-94, India, zai-alpha@hotmail.com]

(I)
Over the years, I had been seeing them chatting intimately. They could have been sighted in our library on the counter, around the tables and in between the stacks. They would even go out if there was a hint of disturbing others. They used to meet in canteens over lunch or tea for nothing but to share something.

While crossing each other on roads and in corridors they would briefly transact something apart from wishing each other. Sometime, you would see one of them making gestures with hands as if to tell the other as to how to reach somewhere. Sometime, their hand could be seen going into the pocket to take out a pen, maybe to scribble something. This is quite normal among literates. In a bus even while hanging in the crowd they appeared to make their point to each other. Shops, auditoriums, and trains might have been other places where they would have met. I guessed that their meetings were unplanned suggesting that there was actually nothing as serious.

Generally, such meetings between a boy and a girl may be an object of amusement and a fond/envied subject of speculations. But I preferred to focus on these two males: One from 1962-batch and other from that of 1988. The elder one was bearded and the younger one was clean-shaven, this too was quite normal. Both of them wore spectacles, this can hardly be a reason to become friends. Yes, both of them were Tamil-Brahmins, but I am sure that they were cosmopolitan Bombayites and intellectuals for whom religion and region could have been only a private affair.

Oh! yes, they were into research but so were others this side. In fact, they were professionally incompatible: The bearded one was a Mathematical-Physicist studying Solitons whereas the other one was into designing a machine that would accelerate Protons.

Chances that either of them had a sadist boss were very small. Had they been into share market, why did others not join them? Look, just two persons could not have made a housing society.  I was beginning to suspect that they would be discussing films/ TV serials/music/plays.

I used to think about them off and on, could have also found as to what was cooking up there between the two as I was friendly to the younger one. Perhaps it never occurred to me until the elder one passed away suddenly following a massive heart attack. Other day, after the official condolence meeting, I caught hold of my friend to know as to what transpired between him and the departed. Promptly came his reply “We liked collecting pens and we used to share our experience of using, buying or finding a new kind”. All my questions were answered at once and I was simply amazed.

(II)
After a few years of my marriage, I narrated this episode to my wife. I, of course, underlined my sense of surprise after knowing about the voracious “pen-friends” and their attachment with pens. She was hardly surprised as she confessed to be one herself. Soon came to my view several flash-backs where I had lost, spoiled or (mis)used her pen and we lost our temper on this. I also felt guilty for not making out myself this interesting trait of my wife. Even my daughter who was allowed to use a pen only in VI Std. after a long painful wait, appeared to be joining this club when she acted finicky about giving me her pen even for a short while. Instead, she would give me a poor one, which I did not mind to use.

These days innumerable varieties of pens are available: New makes with new specifications. Even new names like writometer, writing-machine etc. are being coined. It may be a great time for “pen-friends”. However, I ponder whether “pen-friends” will have to make a cautious policy to include or exclude the more common use-and-throw kinds of pens. Representing the hire-and-fire policy of America, nowadays this make is spreading like anything.

For me, any pen is O.K until I have to write or sign on a special card or something. Better, if the pen is cheaper worth rupees five or less. Cheaper pens are good as you do not have to regret if you lose or spoil by letting them fall from your pocket or table. One day, over a cup of tea the younger of those “pen-friends” told us that his wife also preferred cheaper pens for this silly reason. He wondered aggressively as to how one can lose or let fall one’s pen. I cribbed “you may forget keeping it somewhere and …”. He soon exhorted saying “How can you do research with this much of absent-mindedness?!” Another friend who was a proud user of a costly pen for over a decade aptly joined him and both of them went on applauding the good quality pens and also talked about the kind of paper one should use for a better effect. They claimed “We write effortlessly: just keep the pen on the paper and it goes on writing.” I promptly said “ Oh! your pens are full of ideas too, now I know how you do your research.” Hats off to such good pens and more so to such pen’s friends. THANKS